Hello. My name is Dan Lord.

For a long time I was the lead singer/songwriter/frontman for a band called Pain, which did pretty well, all things considered: we made CDs, sold them all over the world, got some radio play, did some work for the Cartoon Network and the WB, played shows around the country, and built up a big, raucous fan base, many of whom remain loyal to this day. If you would like more info about all that go here

It was a pirate’s life for me, as they say–which is a strange thing to say, since pirates traditionally rape, steal and murder. I didn’t rape anyone, or murder anyone, but  otherwise much of the whole experience was the great misadventure of the self-serving Artist Who Gives Not A Shit For Anyone But Himself. I was likeable, I was charismatic, I knew how to write a catchy tune and how to perform it effectively on a stage. Big deal. I had no peace, and it showed.

Then I read a phrase by a man who lived seventeen centuries ago—how can anyone that old have anything to say to me? The phrase was: “restless is our heart until it comes to rest in Thee.”

“Thee?” I thought. “Who in the world is Thee?”

I then embarked upon a long, exhausting quest using only the most cutting edge internet search engines and I discovered that “Thee” is, in fact, a synonym for “Jesus,” who was as about as relevant to my life at the time as a pair of reading glasses to a rhesus monkey. Strangely curious, I tracked down and read the book which contained that “our-heart-is-restless” phrase,  a book called Confessions, by St. Augustine. The steel trap which had been quivering above me now sprung at last. I was caught.

Now, I’m a Roman Catholic—it says so on this dog-eared blue card in my wallet which someone is supposed to read in case I ever choke on a chicken bone or get trapped beneath a large object. “Roman Catholic,” and I mean it when I say it: a Pope-loving, no-condom-wearing, Rosary-wielding, baby-making fool of the world. I went back to college, got my undergraduate degree, then went on to get my Master’s in Theology. Along the way I got married to Hallie, and together we have spawned countless wee homunculi and built a life that has earned the disapproval of hundreds.

So why is the website called That Strangest of Wars, you ask? Because one of my heroes, Frank Sheed, a theologian from wayyyyy back in the twentieth century, gave a speech in which he declared simply: “The Church on earth is at war.” And he went on to say this:

“…we must understand what the warfare is. It is being fought not simply to enlarge the Church, but to bring souls into union with Christ. It is that strangest of wars which is fought for the enemy, not against him. Even the term enemy must not be allowed to mislead.”

And that, people, is what this website is all about: fighting to bring souls into union with Christ. I pledge to use music, art, humor, joy and truth in charity as my weapons. All visitors are welcome, no one will be turned away.

Feel free to post a comment, or email me at thatstrangestofwars at gmail dot com, or write to P.O. Box 568, Mount Pleasant, SC 29465Thanks for stopping by. God bless!

42 thoughts on “About

  1. Dan, where are you? Brian and I miss you. Would like you to meet our son. Catch up. You can reach me on facebook or jasminemade at austin dot r r dot com.

  2. I’m a former musician myself. Left my band at the height of recording and touring ’cause I heard God calling me in another direction, and I’m now living and working with a religious order, getting ready to formally enter towards the end of the year.

    I write about that strange transition from punk to monk, hence the name of my blog.

    • Two awesome Victories for the Lamb of God! I see that Homeboy must have entered the Order as his blog is gone! Praised be Jesus Christ now and forever! Ave Maria, Dan+

  3. Keep up the great work Dan! Glad to see you still keep yourself busy! BTW – I just got my copy of “Kokamantratarius” and I’m watching it now, awesome!!! Anyways, take care man!

  4. Dear Mr. Dan,
    This is a very important question. There has been something absolutely torturing me about one of Pain’s songs. For years it has tormented me. In Milk during the bridge about Henry Rollins, Pose starts singing different lyrics than you in the background. His lyrics are barely distinguishable. All I hear is at the end he goes “…one day I’ll find out what that means.” And he’s right. One day I will find out what that means. And that day is today! Today will start a new age. The age of understanding what Pose sings in Milk. And please don’t tell me he is singing something like “You can’t hear the words I’m saying one day I’ll find out what that means.” If thats the case I will cry for days on end.
    Arigatou,
    -QuiZNo from Home School Drop Outs

    • I’m glad I can do something to relieve your suffering, Stefano. What Pose is singing at that point is:…ready?…here it is….:

      “It’s a dog eat dog world every day I find out what that means, woh-ohh, woh-ohhh”

      I know….deep, right? Anyway, your quest is over. You may rest in the fields of Elysium. Thanks for writing!

  5. Dan, I am a long time Pain fan and my friend Erin brought me an autographed Wonderful Beef poster a couple of years ago from you (it said “to The Don, from The Dan, Merry Christmas!!!!”) and I wanted to thank you for it. it still hangs on my wall (right in front of me right now). Your music brought me much joy in the past. While I personally am neither a Christian nor a Catholic, I do wish you much luck in your endeavors and in your life. I hope you are doing well!

  6. “Pope-loving, no-condom wearing, Rosary-wielding, baby-making fool.” I like this guy. Especially as a convert myself, who broke the ice at a freshman retreat at the Catholic Campus ministry with “hey, anybody got any good condom stories?”

    • Very entertaining! And take note of this: Leonard writes about filling in for John Bonham who injured his wrist during a show, then plays a half hour solo while Bonham’s wrist is being treated, and afterwards Jimmy Page openly weeps because Leonard can’t be in Led Zeppelin–and yet when I visit the page now all that is no longer available to read! A clear sign that Wikipedia suppresses the truth and is afraid of anything totally awesome. Wikipedia even took off the part about his efforts to cure polio. Fascists.

  7. Dan I just wanna say your awesome. I got into pain when I was younger after seeing the Jabber-jaw short you guys did for cartoon network (before it sucked)

    Since then I’ve been a fan.

    Regards, Rick.

  8. Hi dan! Your email account,is it legit? I keep getting red flags when I try to mail you.

    • That’s wierd–it is legit, and I receive emails pretty regularly. just type: thatstrangestofwars and then the little “a” trapped in a circle and then gmail.com give it a shot.

  9. Even if you may not have facebook (I hope this is still going to be visible either way), I hope this makes you smile. It’s not a very big group yet, but it’s getting there.

    http://www.facebook.com/groups/138200448378/

    Also, I enjoy your website, it’s great to know you’re still kicking :)

    High-fives from Tokyo.

    • That’s….I’m speechless, or whatever the equivalent of that is in a combox. That’s really cool, and I’m glad you shared that. Thanks for writing, and please keep in touch!

  10. “Along the way I got married to Hallie, and together we have spawned countless wee homunculi and built a life that has earned the disapproval of hundreds.”

    Hilarious. Also pretty badass.

    May God use you for good!

  11. Dear, Mr. Dan.
    Is that a washboard I hear in the last chorus of One Legged Girl? If so I’m wondering if you guys ever used one of those cool Washtub basses? If you tell me that you did I think might build a rocket ship that will end up only getting three feet above the grass. Also I feel sympathy for any former Pain horn player who had to play Nitro. Great song but since I’m a horn player dude it seems almost impossible to play. Chris Johnson told me that you wrote it like that because your Casio didn’t need to breathe which is why he said you stopped playing it. Eventually someone could have passed out on stage.
    Much love to the former frontman of one of my favorite bands ever. A band that has shown so much originality with everything. Truly genius. <3

    • Man, by the time we got to that last chorus there were a lot of instruments wailing away, so it’s possible. We definitely used a washboard kind of thing on Midgets With Guns. And, yes, the voodoo doll Chris made of me got a lot of pins in the head for writing Nitro. I guess now would be a good time to apologize to the Pain horn section for that, but I also feel like laughing with evil delight and calling them all “sissies.” What’s the morally right thing to do? Either way, thanks for being such a swell guy, Stefano.

  12. Let me start by saying that I have waited quite some time to tell you this story Dan. In 2001 I was given a burned cd by my best friend’s older brother after his first semester at the University of Alabama. “Pain” was written in red sharpie. Since that day your music has provided me with an amazing and accurate background track to life.

    I’ve gone many miles and seen many places since then. Your music’s always been riding with. Me and my best friend have lived life by Right On, Pose Ode, and Excalibur. It’s been a great one keeping warm with a gleam that’s reflected from strength inside us. Thank you Dan and Pain.

  13. Hey Dan! I must say, your writing style is as immaculate as it ever was. Anyhoot… A few years ago I asked you about the possibilities of recieving a Dan Lord piece of art. You replied by saying; ” where do I send It to”. I proceeded to send you my address…I never recieved anything from you. I know you area very busy person, due to your family life and work for the Lord.(which is why I’m not mad at you) LOL. To make a long story short, I was wondering if that would still be likely??? I did not want to hound you for it, so hopefully these few years were long enough to prevent myself from coming across as a nuisance! …I am proud to call myself “a Dan Lord Fan”. Keep doing what your doing and God bless!

    • *you’re…Sorry I am sure there is more grammatical errors…That one just really bothers me.

  14. Great story. BTW there is no such thing as “Roman” Catholic. That is a phrase invented by Protestants to ridicule Catholics. You are a CATHOLIC who practices the Roman Rite. One rite of about 16 who are all Catholic. Other Catholic Rites include the Chaldean, Byzantine Maronite and Coptic. They are all Catholics. It is a mistake to use the term Roman Catholic even by a priest or parish.

    • Thank you! But there is definitely such a thing as Roman Catholic, because I am one. The term predates the Protestant Reformation by hundreds of years, though it gets stressed afterwards as a line of demarcation between Protestantism and Catholicism–and that’s great! Regardless of whether or not Protestants mean it as a term of ridicule, it’s a matter of pride for me, as it should be for all Catholics: our allegiance of faith is to the bishop of Rome, the pope, who Christ put in charge of the Church on earth.

  15. I feel like the Red Headed Oliva Dunham is the Walternate universe! I am also a SAHM of six kids who married a former ” local rock star” in 1995. As a baptized, but never confirmed or practicing Catholic until 2004, I came across one of your wife’s articles on Spirit Daily today. Being the curious sort about other large, Catholic families with similar back grounds, I dug a bit more and found your site.

    I enjoyed reading your wife’s blog and your site. I can’t wait to share this to my husband…especially since I also have a family, humor blog where I poke fun at our daily lives as Catholics.

    Best of luck to you and your Moxie wife!

    • Hey, one way to understand this: The Catholic Party is the best party because it’s a party that never ends. When we party we are looking for real and lasting joy which doesn’t come through sex drugs and rock and roll, although I can say I have been trying with my wife of 30 years using fine foods and good music. By the grace of God my capacity for joy has increased exponentially and just keeps on going. Try it, you will like it.

  16. Ummm…Dan. As I listened to you speak on EWTN, I heard MYSELF speaking! Also a cradle Catholic, also a lost soul for 25 years, also a debaucherous hedonist, also a revert, and ALSO have had some wicked evil things happen to me VERY recently, which we must talk about!! I thought I was crazy, now I know it’s been a long long battle with darkness and the diabolical. Check your email inbox pleeeeez! -Matt (in ultra liberal, hedonistic, self-absorbed, Christian-hating San Francisco, CA)

  17. Dan,

    Just checking to make sure you got that e-mail from me. I apologize for sending you a message on here, but wasn’t sure where else to send it to.

    Cheers,

    Chris

  18. Hey Dan! I think I first heard Pain when I was 12 and loved ‘em and I still listen here and there(24 now). Needless to say I was stoked when I discovered this site and Thumbwrestle. I also grew up Catholic and I gotta say it kind blew my mind that you, too, are Catholic. Right on brother you’re on the right path! Out of curiosity do you attend the Tridentine Mass? God bless and keep on keepin’ on.

  19. Dan! Just heard you on Relevant Radio and I am so loving your story! God Bless you and welcome to the one true Church Jesus Christ, Himself, established! And, six children and counting is wonderful as well!!! So happy to know you now!

  20. Well I just finished By the Downward Way. I do not read fantasy/adventure type books. Ever. My fifteen year old son has been urging me to read some so I finally relented and somehow came across your book. I was already familiar with your wife’s blog via Jen Fulwiler’s blog, but didn’t know the connection when I ordered it. Anyway, I really loved it and I’m sad to be finished. When will there be more?

    Now, I am relentlessly nagging my son to read it but he won’t!! Ugh. I should know better about nagging and especially a fifteen yr. old.

    Next, I will read your wife’s book. Thanks to both of you for being an inspiration and especially with a large Catholic family. We have eight and the days are long.

    God bless.

    • Thank you, Michelle! That’s the nice thing about a novel: you can dive in and come out refreshed and ready to continue nagging your unresponsive fifteen-year olds. I’m so glad you commented…the sequel is in the works!

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