A typical day for me, really.
When you become a dad, you might as well buy a pith helmet and a portable gramophone because you will be blazing trails through freaky jungles and fording raging rivers of toys. You will even need to learn local languages… languages never before heard by modern man.
For instance, having spent two years with a primitive savage I have come to know as “Sophia,” I finally began to share entire conversations with her in an aboriginal dialect that, to the untrained ear, would have seemed to be no more than a series of unintelligible clicks, gurgles and grunts.
For scientific purposes I now post a short lexicon of the most commonly used words from this crude language, followed by a typical conversation with “Sophia.”
Sophiaspeak
"Sophia," Day 3
Gonk-ee: thank you
Bonk: a wound
Thnoogle: mucus
Mee-da: that is something I want for myself [interchangeable w/the shorter form, “me”]
Theebie: zebra
Jaff: giraffe
Wa-wa: dog
Moo: cow
Bbhh: [with lower lip poking out] 1. a car or truck 2. to travel in a car or truck
wite: red
Yok: Jack, older brother
Gah-goh: Daniel, oldest brother
Chokkitpie: chocolate pie
Di: bath (??)
Moo-mee: movie
Pop: 1. lollipop 2. Mary Poppins
Bo: toes
Mote: milk
Do-no: doughnut
Nake-nake: naked
Yuh-yuh: love
Cake-cake: pancake [“me yuh-yuh cake-cake”]
Doo-doo: balloon
Doo-doo-doo: Indiana Jones
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A typical conversation might go like this:
Me: “Sophia, would you like to take a bath?”
Sophia: “YEH! Mee-da di; Yok and Gah-goh di!”
Me: “Should we watch a movie afterwards?”
Sophia: “YEH! Mee-da moo-mie! Mee-da Doo-doo-doo! Me chokkitpie?”
Me: “Well, we don’t have anymore chocolate pie. How about something else for a snack?”
Sophia: “Me mote.”
Me: “O.K. Now, what toys do you want in the bath?”
Sophia: “Mama jaff. Baby jaff. Doo-doo.”
Me: “Your balloon? In the bath?!?”
Sophia: “YEH! Me wite doo-doo!”
Me: “But, sweetie, I think you lost your red balloon. Do you know where it is?”
Sophia: “Mama bbhh?”
Me: “No, it’s not there.”
Sophia: “Daddy bbhh?”
Me: “No…look, balloons aren’t good toys for the bath anyway. What’s something else you could put in the bath?”
Sophia: “Me chokkitpie?”
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I am proud to report that “Sophia” has managed to learn a few English words, as well. I have even succeeded in teaching her to accomplish a few rudimentary tasks that a year ago were impossible for her, like moving out of the way when I am coming in the house with two armloads of groceries. I feel confident that I can civilize her completely in time, God willing.
Too funny! Isn’t it fun how you need to compile a whole new dictionary for each one? Though they seem to be members of the same tribe, the dialects may vary greatly. And to make things even harder, pronunciations and meanings may shift rapidly over time so that just when you think you may have it down, the rules change on you.
I’ve been working with “Sophia” for almost 3 years and I’m happy to report that she has become fairly proficient in conversations in the English language. We are now focusing more on table manners and other advanced skills. Now I’m working on my own “Ben” lexicon.
This is awesome. Great post.
Does Sophie know any portuguese speaking people? I say that because her “give me” word – “mee-da” – is very similar to “me dá”, its portuguese translation.