It appears that Santa Claus has lost favor with many people out there in the webbaverse.
One of the reasons goes as follows: we are basically lying to our children. We make up this whole fake story about a jolly old elf who brings kids free toys, but then eventually they learn the truth and, one way or the other, they are wounded by this lie. In fact, it has even been attributed to the loss of faith in God among some people (i.e. “if what my parents told me about Santa was untrue, then maybe what they told me about God is also untrue, even if they themselves don’t realize it”).
I am frankly a wee bit stunned by the thought that someone could actually lose their faith in God because they found out Santa Claus was fake. There are so many fantasies that kids carry around throughout childhood which are eventually obliterated: that mommies and daddies are perfect and in total control of things; that wicked people only exist in movies or in remote corners of the earth; that packs of carnivorous wild dogs are waiting just inside the tree line of the grove of trees outside your house; that if you swing hard enough on the swing set you can go all the way around and come back to your starting position. They learn the truth of things in time—maybe all too soon.
Still and all, I want to try and stay objective here, and I respect anyone who insists that the Santa Claus myth robbed them of faith in Christ.
So, here are some decent pro-Claus points I thought of while sitting here at my favorite pizza place, and I hope you’ll keep them in mind before jettisoning Santa:
1.There is a good deal of historicity here. Santa Claus is based on St. Nicholas, a real saint from the 4th century who really did bring secret gifts to people in need.
2.I think it’s unfair to call the story of Santa Claus a “lie.” The primary definition of “lie” is to bear false witness against someone or otherwise prevent someone from knowing something to which they have a right. I don’t see how I’m bearing false witness against my kids, or against St. Nicholas, nor do I see how my kids have a “right” to know that it isn’t really Santa Claus delivering those toys.
3.Finally, there’s this: by way of the Santa thing kids are reinforced with the marvelous Christian message that Someone wants to give you something good, from out of His joyful, endless abundance, and you really didn’t do anything to deserve it.
Yeah, I know, there has developed that whole “Naughty or Nice List,” but we personally have never included that device in our telling of it, precisely because it is inapplicable: kids ARE going to be naughty—it is unavoidable. They will still get presents under the tree. The presents are not earned—they are tokens of caritas. Santa Claus therefore is an image of God.
Notice what else happens here: the focus is taken off the parents. What an act of humility and self-sacrifice! Kids get all these magic new gifts and the people who actually bought them get no—zero—credit. That’s spiritually healthy for Mom and Dad.
These are just a few thoughts I had, but I am not pretending it is an exhaustive defense. I haven’t even finished my lunch yet. I would love to hear from anyone who has any opinions on Santa Claus, contrary or not.
Hmm. Wierd.
Dude, great post. I like your thoughts, I am not a Santa defender or an anti-Santa bully either, but I am glad someone provided a thoughtful little snippet on why Santa isn’t all bad. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! I’ve already read some “Santa Claus is evil” posts and they are quite disheartening. It’s nice to see a post that shows that Santa can be used to accentuate the Christ-centered message of Christmas!
Thank you. This was a wonderful read. I especially appreciated your point about the spiritual gifts Santa leaves for us parents.
A completely agree with you. Santa IS a good guy.
I don’t know a single person who lost their faith because of Santa.
We don’t “do” Santa Claus, but I’m not worked up over other people doing it. However, I think there’s a difference between Santa and the other childhood fantasies you mention in that children who doubt often are actively encouraged by their parents to believe in Santa. Growing up I thought believing was the right thing for children to do, quite similar to believing what we were taught about God.
We try to make it as Catholic as possible by staying with the true tradition of celebrating the Feast day of St. Nicholas (same guy, seriously), on December 6th. They do get stockings with candy and sometimes a gift. When the kids ask me about him (is he real, whatev.), I tell them the story of the REAL St. Nicholas, and sometimes have them watch the CCC video (Nicholas, the boy who became Santa). I don’t really ever say it’s him who does it, or if we do it in honor of him, but I like to keep it a little more calm and realistic that way.
BTW- St. Nick was seriously cool- he was a Bishop, and was at the 1st Council of Nicaea in 325 defending the Trinity. Sweet.
I agree. Santa Claus represents the Spirit of Love and Giving and unselfishness and the Spirit of Love is God ! . Good post .
http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/activities/view.cfm?id=210
I liked this explaination of the ties between Santa Clause and St. Nicholas. They are not equal. I also liked the dialog at the end on dealing with a child’s discovery that it’s actually the parents giving the gifts.
We don’t do Santa at our house for many reasons, but I don’t fault those who do. It’s just the choice we made. However, I guess one of my biggest misgivings about Santa is the myth that goes along with him…you can get anything you wish for, regardless of quantity or cost. This can lead to HUGE disappointment for children.
I’ve seen kids truly hurt because a friend at school got more or bigger or better gifts. Say my friend got a REAL American Girl Doll ($100) that they wished for, but I only got a $10 “fake” doll from the dollar store.
Does Santa somehow like them better? Was I a bad kid? The truth is, their parents have more money (or more debt) than mine and can afford nicer, more expensive gifts.
How do you explain that to a 7 year old? Or how do you explain why Santa does/does not like them better? It just really bothers me.
I know the “tone” of this comment must sound rude. Please don’t take it that way. I just think our society has gotten SO deeply into commercialism and the Santa thing only makes it worse, and harder for kids to understand why they can’t just wish for and have everything they want. It’s just not realistic and can be painful.
Personally, I think it’s just easier for our kids to know that we live on a budget, that somethings are just too expensive and no amount of wishing or being good will put it under the Christmas tree, and that Santa is a fun character (like Elmo)…we watch movies about him sometimes, or read books with him in it, but he’s not real life. Oh, and we also DO tell our children about St. Nicholas and the history of Santa…we simply choose to not have him as a full-blown part of our Christmas traditions.
I like this post, and we do Santa at our house. I wasn’t disappointed to find out the truth when I was a child, either, or scarred emotionally. But Rachael, thanks for that link. I never knew the Thor portions of the fairytale! Excellent history piece.
Thank you for this. Based on above comments, it sounds like we’re somewhere in the middle ground. We “do” Santa, but we keep it strictly to 3 wrapped gifts under the tree, and as they get older hopefully they will connect that back to baby Jesus getting 3 gifts as well. I disagree that it encourages kids to expect whatever they want or that it sets them up for disappointment. We remind our kids all the time that their “wish list” is just that, “wishes”, and you MAY get some things on your list, but you won’t get all of them. And they’re quite okay with that.
I also was not scarred as I slowly accepted the reality of Santa as a child. It was not a heartbreaking moment for me.
I can’t tell you how thankful I am for the lively discussion–and all charitable! I might throw something in here to address the very reasonable worry about kids having unrealistic toy expectations, which Betty Beguiles and I had to deal with early on, as well. We put it to our kids something like this: “Just ask for two or three things…not a million! Remember Santa has to make toys for everybody and we want him to have time to get them all ready. Also, if we ask for a million things then its kind of being selfish, don’t you think? So, just keep it to two or three things.” Delivered in the right way it really is very effective.
There’s also this: ultimately, I don’t believe kids much remember or care exactly what presents they got, with a few exceptions (I have fond memories of a microscope set I got at age ten. Go ahead…laugh, get it out of your system). What we remember as we grow and mature is the love shared, and laughter and family and mushy stuff lke that. The important stuff. I wouldn’t worry too much if your child was heartbroken about a toy not received–you’ll make it up to him in a million different ways, and when they grow up what they’ll really remember is just happy stuff.
We don’t do the Santa Claus thing with our kids. We honor St. Nicholas (Santa) on St. Nicholas day (Dec. 6) by giving our children a small gift in memory of his generosity to others. But on Christmas the kids know the gifts come from us, and it doesn’t seem to take away from anything. I feel our Christmas’s are more full because there is less focus on elves, santa, and reindeer and more focus on the reason we are celebrating JESUS.
But regarding your point on it not being a lie. If your child asks you point blank does Santa Claus bring me my presents. and you say yes. and he says how. and you go on to explain how he flys on his sled and comes down the chimney. HOw does this not fall under the category of a lie. You say they don’t have the “right” to know. I could use that to defend a lot of lies. I feel my children know they can trust us, because they know we will tell them the truth and only the truth. I’d love to hear comments.
Thanks, Grace—your points are well put.
First let me say this: there is certainly nothing wrong with choosing to dispense with Santa Claus, as you and others have obviously done. You have likely already perceived that I don’t fault anyone for that.
Next, I’d like to treat the subject of children and lying, which I touched on way too briefly in my post. I want to differentiate between “lying” and “using one’s imagination,” the latter being that which we all do almost everyday in order to create symbols of truth. Very small children swim in the medium of imagination. They live and breathe in it. One reason is because their points of reference are so underdeveloped. They recognize no difference between New York City (assuming they don’t live there) and the magic underwater city of Atlantis—both are just as real and just as mysterious. A child goes seamlessly back and forth between talking to you about her very real siblings and about pink unicorns. It is just how their minds operate. Raising them on stories about Santa Claus is no more an offense against truth than the stories they tell themselves about their toys having conversations with each other, etc.
Soon enough the child begins to reach a sufficient age of reason and demands to know what’s real: then we are duty-bound to tell them (in suitable terms, naturally). That’s what I practice with my kids—so it sounds like you and I are substantially doing the same things as parents. The difference, if I’m reading you right, is that you think there is no acceptable age to let your kids believe in something fantastic. I think such a standard is impossible, for the reasons I tried to state above. For a little while, kids are steeped in the fantastic, simply because they are not psychologically or intellectually capable of perceiving and expressing reality like adults. Santa Claus fits neatly and harmlessly into their world for a little while, and it’s a lot of fun for everybody. Once it is time to help them “let go of childish things” then we should do so, of course. Even then, the imagination will remain a useful and powerful tool for them, and maybe more so (just maybe) because it was honed on stories about elves and flying reindeer.
I appreciate the discussion! We “do” Santa with our two young children, although I am not sure we will continue. I do remember it as so magical and amazing when I was little! However, I want to keep the celebration centered around Jesus, so I am looking for guidance. I am wondering though, if we decide to forego Santa, how you go about not spoiling it for other children?
One more thing to add – here is a Santa Claus prayer I found in case other parents would find it helpful.
Santa Claus Prayer
The sleigh was packed,
the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt
by the side of the bed.
“Dear Father,” he prayed
“Be with me tonight.
There’s much work to do
and my schedule is tight.
I must jump in my sleigh
and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well
that a reindeer can’t fly.
I will visit each household
before the first light,
I’ll cover the world
and all in one night.
With sleigh bells a-ringing,
I’ll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter
of each little hoof.
To get in the house
is the difficult part,
So I’ll slide down the chimney
of each little heart.
My sack will hold toys
to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless
like the loaves and the fishes.
I will fill all the stockings
and not leave a track.
I’ll eat every cookie
that’s left for my snack.
I can do all these things Lord,
only through You,
I just need your blessing,
then it’s easy to do.
All this is to honor
the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us,
Your most Holy Son.
So to all of my friends,
lest Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them,
who gave me this job.”
-Warren D. Jennings
Great prayer! It expresses well the attitude I had growing up and the attitude we’re trying to instill in our kids: that Santa and Jesus are not at odds; that Santa is serving Jesus by doing what he does. Yes, it’s a wierd interplay of mythmaking and catechetics, but I love it all. Thanks for your comments, Katie!
“Anonymous” is me, by the way. Sorry, visions of sugarplums dancing in head.
I have always loved Santa Claus. Even when I was told he doesn’t exist my heart told me he is too kind and beautiful and joyful not to.
For what its worth, I have three children. The first figured out very early that Santa wasn’t real and seem un-bothered by this. He is 19 now and walking very far from God and the church. My second son didn’t figure out the truth until we finally told him at 12 (yes, 12). He was so upset he cried and we felt very bad. Today he is 18, has a very strong faith and is very active in church. Our youngest believed until 8, then found out “the truth” and did not seem to find it significant in her life. She is also very devout.
Is there a lesson here. Yes, and it is that there isn’t one.
Wise insight, Susan. Thanks!